I hate the weekends

I hate the weekends. Well, most of them anyway. I used to be a regular weekend lover, like you, but that was before. Now many of my weekends take my kids away and make me feel all icky inside. Weekdays are normal. I can take a week day. Even if the kids are fighting, the baby I care for is fussy and teething, the house is a mess, and I have a headache….. that feels normal to me. I can deal with normal. The weekends spent in a quiet house, alone, do NOT feel normal to me. Those of you who know me know that aspiring to “normal” is not my highest goal… but when I’m sitting in a quiet house on a Friday night with no plans looking at the whole miserable weekend in front of me, I start feeling like I want some of that “normal” back! Now give me a Monday, I can really get into a Monday. Weekdays I have my “people.” I have the people I routinely talk to on the phone. I have the people I routinely chat with on facebook. I have the people I routinely email. I have the people I routinely see face to face. Most of my people vanish on the weekend. My phone people have got husbands to spend time with. My facebook people have got housework to do. My email people have got kids to pay attention to. My face to face people have got scout trips to go on. They all go into their lives and vanish from mine. I used to be one of those people who liked the weekends… ready for the “break”…… ready for the “change”……..ready for the “rest”…….even ready for the “quiet.” Now all those realities just make me feel alone. Now before you get all sad and start crying into you coffee (cuz that can just really kill the perfect blend of coffee and creamer), know that I have sweet friends who are helping me through this hard time. Know that I have a God who is with me even when I am alone. Know that I know this is not how it is always going to be……….. it’s a process.