I tend to be slightly green lately. There are two different types of green I’m talking about here……the “green” that conserves and the “green” that envies. Both of these types of green show up more at Christmas time (funny that one of Christmas’ color’s is green).
The first type of green is something I lean toward all the time. I’m not an over-the-top greenie, but I do like to conserve, reuse, recycle and take care of the earth in the ways I feel I can. I have some hippie blood running through my veins… but not enough to feel secure running around with no makeup in clothes that reveal my views. I will remain the gal in the jeans, t-shirts, and crocs who may or may not wear makeup…. depending on my mood. The conserving green-ness comes from the crazy consumerism that is always pointed out around this time of year…..we are such a “stuff-driven” society. Jesus’ birth marking the best time of the year to really go for materialism…. SO wrong. Don’t get me wrong… I do like the gift exchange, santa, the whole deal….but not to the point that we (Americans? Humans?) take it. Many are choosing to go into debt for the Christmas they envision. That is just crazy talk! Buying your kid that big item cuz he just REALLY REALLY wants it… is NOT showing Jesus’ love to the world…. It’s modeling irresponsible behavior for your kids and setting them up to feel sucked into that same trap when they are the parent trying to copy the Christmases they witnessed as a child.
As to the other type of green…..I’m not a person who normally struggles with envy. It isn’t my sin of choice (I have others, believe me). I have had a struggle with it of late, however. I’m not jealous that I can’t buy my kids the latest new thing, I’m not jealous of Hanukkah with it’s 8 days of gifts, I’m not jealous that I don’t drive a really new,really cool car, I’m not jealous of your paycheck, I’m not jealous of your figure (well, maybe a little)…..I’m jealous of your intact family. I’m jealous that you have a relationship that has lasted through the thick and thin. I’m jealous that when your mate said “I do” he/she did. I’m jealous that you aren’t sending your kids away for half of your holiday vacation.
Recently I hosted a small gathering of friends from my high school. In that group that showed up, all the men were still married to their first wife. I’m in my early 40’s. I’m divorced twice. I don’t have the life I thought I would. When those men from my high school sat in my house… I really was envious of every single one of their wives…. the wives who got husbands who stayed……the wives who got husbands who didn’t wish for their harm, but their good. Now, I do not have close relationships with all these men… I’m sure they don’t all have perfect marriages….. BUT the fact that they are still married after all these years says something to me. It was the picture I had for myself. I thought when I said “I do” the first time that it was forever….. I pictured laughing with my husband at all the inside jokes that were built after years and years of togetherness. But that isn’t my lot in this life... instead I get to be empathetic to the divorced and downtrodden…… and plod through as a single mom. I have to agree with Kermit on this one… it isn’t easy being green.
I will work on this problem of envy in me. I know it is not a good thing….I’ll let you know when I can claim victory in this area (Holy Spirit power, baby)… cuz… it’s a process.
good stuff.
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